Growing into Motherhood and Embracing the Change

If you had asked me five years ago who I was, I would have given you a list of roles and hobbies that defined me. I was completely immersed in my work – I didn’t know how to turn it off or unplug. I’d come home from work, eat dinner, catch up on a show or two and then go back to the computer to keep working. I left very little time for myself to slow down. This is not to say that nothing mattered before I had kids because that’s not true. Whatever path you take, life can be whole and meaningful, but becoming a mom forced me to make some big changes. The things that really mattered changed.

Fast-forward to today, and I barely recognize the person I once was. It’s not that I had lost myself; it’s more that I’ve evolved in ways I never imagined. The way I prioritize my happiness, wants, and needs is so different than before having kids. My life has constantly evolved since becoming a mother, and I anticipate that this evolution will continue as I navigate the journey of motherhood. This is an ongoing learning process; taking care of myself makes me a much better mom to my girls.

It’s all too easy in motherhood to give all of yourself to your baby, partner, employer, house, family, friends, etc. This list goes on and on. With each part you give, you are emptying your cup a little more until nothing is left. I am certainly guilty of trying to continue pouring past this point and not understanding why my brain, body, or emotions are no longer capable of doing what they were supposed to be doing. It’s not because of a lack of capability; it’s because you no longer have the capacity to give.

Gaining confidence in myself took time. It wasn’t until after 3 years of motherhood that I felt that internal shift, and for the first time, I saw myself so differently. It’s a beautiful thing.

Becoming a mother is like entering a new dimension of life. It’s like pressing a reset button on your sense of self, only to discover that you’ve been upgraded to a version you didn’t even know existed. The person you were five years ago, pre-kids, has been fundamentally altered by the experience of motherhood. And that’s okay—more than okay, it’s extraordinary.

The Shift in Priorities

Before motherhood, my priorities were centered around personal goals, career ambitions, and social activities. My self-care looks different - gone are the days of spontaneous outings or long weekends away. Instead, I focus on nurturing a tiny human and ensuring their needs are met. This shift in priorities doesn’t diminish who I am; it simply reflects the new aspects of my life that have become central.

The Transformation of Self-Identity

I’ve realized that my self-identity has grown to include “mom” as a central facet of who I am. But that doesn’t mean I’ve lost the person I used to be. Instead, I’ve integrated new dimensions into my identity. I might not have the same time or energy for old hobbies but find joy in new ones.

The Evolution of Relationships

Motherhood has also altered my relationships. Friends who don’t have children might find it hard to relate to my daily experiences, while other moms become my closest allies. It’s not that I’ve grown distant from my old friends; my daily life now revolves around different activities, and it can be challenging to bridge that gap. It’s a natural part of the process, and it’s okay to acknowledge that relationships evolve just as we do.

The Constant Change

One of the most profound aspects of being a mom is the constant state of change. Just as I’m adapting to the needs of my growing child, I’m also evolving. My interests, goals, and daily routines shift in response to the ever-changing landscape of motherhood. Embracing this change can be daunting, but it’s also empowering. It’s a reminder that we are resilient and capable of growing alongside our children.

Your relationships have changed—some may have ended, and new ones have started—your body has changed, and at the root of it all, you have changed. If you haven’t discovered yourself yet, don’t worry, mama; you will. I would be unrecognizable to some who haven’t spoken to me in five years.

The Joy of Rediscovery

Amidst all this change, there’s also room for rediscovery. As my children grow, I rediscover parts of myself that I thought were lost. I might not be the same person I was five years ago, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still me. I’m just a more refined version, enriched by the experiences and challenges of motherhood.

It’s time to focus on meeting yourself in this new season of life. Maybe you’ve had a transformative experience, often causing an internal shift. You might describe this feeling as a profound awakening when you realize your worth and the importance of prioritizing your happiness. It’s as if you’ve been carrying a heavy burden of external expectations and self-doubt, only to put it down and breathe freely for the first time. It’s like emerging from a fog, seeing clearly that your happiness is not only valid but essential. There’s a newfound clarity in understanding that choosing yourself is not selfish but a necessary step in nurturing your well-being. You may feel freer like you've allowed yourself to go after what truly makes you happy. You're letting go of the pressure to fit other people's expectations. This realization affirms that you deserve joy and that your needs and wants are essential for a meaningful life.

So, with that, I want to say to all the moms out there: it’s okay if you don’t feel like the person you used to be. In fact, it’s perfectly normal. Embrace the changes, honour the evolution, and find joy in the new dimensions of who you are becoming. You’re not alone in this journey, and while people might not know the “old” you, they will come to appreciate the incredible person you’ve become.

Remember, motherhood is not just a chapter in your life—it’s a whole new book filled with twists and turns and beautiful narratives. Keep turning the pages with an open heart and a spirit of adventure.

Xoxo,

Another mama