You don't need to be a Supermom!

The expectations that women are supposed to work full time, raise their kids full time while not letting anyone else raise their kids, be a good wife, keep the house clean, cook dinner, drink enough water and exercise is BS!

These societal expectations are impossible to meet. I'm not one to believe that anything is impossible, but this, I've officially given up trying to be Superwomen.

The memes I see scrolling on Facebook that says "cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos" or "being a parents is just basically walking around the house saying, 'Clean up this mess!' until everyone is crying", couldn't be more accurate.

As women and as moms, our time is rarely our own (if ever!). Shout out to all the single parents doing this on their own-I have no idea how you do what you do!

Raise your hands if you're fed up with the unrealistic expectations society has created for mothers? I know, me too!

I see you mama. Working your butt off to be a perfect mom, wife, daughter and business women all at the same time. But everywhere you turn, there is no support!

Instead, just awful mom shaming that makes you feel bad for posting pictures of your kids on social medial while your family is making you feel bad because you don't post enough pictures of your kids on Facebook.

Every time I log into social media, everywhere a mother turns, there is conflicting advice on parenting, sleep training, breast or formula feeding and the latest and greatest parent styles. There is the pressure from work to be the same employee you were before baby. I'd like to point out that gentle parenting only works if you have gentle kids!

It's never ending criticism or shame. Everyone has their opinions and it seems no decision is the right one when it comes to motherhood. We are constantly struggling with the feeling that we are never going to be "good enough". Let's face it, keeping a tiny human alive can be pretty thankless.

So I am here to remind you - you are doing a great job mama!

I never truly understood, when they do the safety introduction on an airplane prior to take off and they always said put your mask on before helping anyone else. Yep, here it is mama, put your mask on first!

It may not always seem like it, but you are everything to your children. They need you. But you can’t show up for them if your mental health is poor. So here’s some unpopular advice: put yourself first, mama.

You don’t have to throw your one year old a Pinterest worthy birthday party. You’re not required to make themed bento boxes for your kids’ lunch. And there is no law stating that you must buy them that expensive costume for dance in order to be a good mom. You don’t need to listen to the outside expectations, even if they are coming from your family! You are allowed to set boundaries and house rules and feel completely guilt free about it.

The biggest issue with society’s expectations of a mom is that it can lead to guilt. Not fitting the mold of the picture-perfect mother can make moms feel like they are not giving their children 100%. They experience thoughts like “my child deserves better” and feel the need to work harder.

As a full-time working mother I have felt judged for not spending enough time with my children, while stay-at-home moms may experience pressure to justify their decision to prioritize parenting over their career. Striking a balance between work and motherhood is a constant challenge, and society's expectations can exacerbate the struggle.

You really only have to do three things:

1. Make sure your child feels safe and loved

2. Keep them alive, fed, and clothed

3. And help them grow up into functional adults everything else is just icing on the cake!

Moms are typically the managers of the home. We schedule the doctor appointments, pay the bills, run errands, and make sure there are clean clothes. The meal planning and grocery store run with two kids in tow? That’s often you, too. On top of those responsibilities, we take care of the boo-boos; we know when diapers and wipes are low and when we need to size up the kids’ clothes.

Solution? I’ve learned that I can’t do it all on my own. Laundry is divvied up, and I am not the one doing the dishes. At this point, I’ve given up on the “Pinterest-worthy” home because I want a home that is lived in, not lived around. I have lists galore, a physical planner, and we share a calendar on our phones, so we both know each other’s schedules. Reach out for help and delegate; you cannot do it all on your own.

The other thing we are told is to make sure we take time for ourselves. As challenging as this is, and seems near impossible, this is another reminder to make yourself a priority mama (and no it's not selfish!). Self care can look a while lot different. Going for a mani/pedi, or for a spa day is likely not realistic, so instead take a bath with a glass of wine or head to the bedroom 30 minutes early to read or catch up on a show. Self-care doesn’t have to be a grand gesture; it just has to be something that refuels you.

The pressure of society on mothers is not an unsolvable problem. There are steps we can take to alleviate this burden and create a more supportive environment for mothers:

Challenging Stereotypes: We need to challenge the stereotypes and expectations imposed on mothers. Emphasize that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to motherhood, and every mother's journey is unique.

Supporting Work-Life Balance: Employers and policymakers must work towards creating family-friendly workplaces, offering flexible working hours, and advocating for affordable childcare options.

Empowering Fathers: Encourage shared parental responsibilities, as involved fathers can provide essential support to mothers and create a more equitable home environment.

Nurturing a Positive Community: Build a supportive community that celebrates diverse parenting styles and choices, devoid of judgment and mom-shaming.

Prioritizing Self-Care: Encourage mothers to prioritize self-care without feeling guilty. A well-rested and emotionally fulfilled mother can be more present and engaged with her family.

They say “it takes a village” to raise a child, well I’m convinced it would take a small city to raise the two of mine. By working together to challenge these expectations, we can ensure that motherhood becomes a more fulfilling and empowering journey for all women.

I say, let's challenge society's expectations of motherhood and let's push back!

Xoxo,

Another Mama